On this last day of Women’s Month, I want to raise three stories related to women that really upset and annoyed me over the last few weeks.

A young hero in the Eastern Cape

The first one is about a young woman from the Eastern Cape.  This 17-year old girl opened a case of abuse against her boyfriend in early August. Let’s just pause for a moment and acknowledge what enormous courage it takes for anyone – let alone a teenager - to go to SAPS and go through the process of reporting abuse and asking for help. 

According to reports, a detective then visited her at home and in order to take further statements, he drove her to the Kei Mouth Police Station. One has to wonder why he couldn’t do that at her home? It is reported that on the way to the police station he told her that he wanted to have a relationship with her. 

Let’s pause again and consider how inappropriate and disgusting it is for a 45-year old man to ask a 17-year old for a relationship – and even more so given that she was already traumatised. She bravely declined. He clearly did not take kindly to that and, according to reports, when they arrived at the police station he took her into an office and raped her. 

This would be enough to break anyone, but this young woman fought back. She grabbed a bottle, broke it and stabbed him. She then escaped the room. Despite getting raped by the person whose duty it was to protect her, she did not run away. She turned to his colleagues and reported him. 

I am in awe of this young woman’s strength and determination. I don’t know her name, but I hope someone will tell her that she is a hero and that her courage will serve as an inspiration to me and other women when we get tired or too fearful to speak out against the atrocities committed against women on a daily basis.  I am also infuriated by this man who abused his position of authority and trust to rape this woman. I hope that his sentence will be additionally harsh so that he remains in jail for a very long time. 

Roadkill 

The second story that infuriated me was John Steenhuisen referring to his ex-wife as “roadkill” during a podcast. It seems that John- for a moment- thought he was with his buddies in the pub or around the braai, and in a display of machoism believed that it was a funny comment to make. In fact, instead of apologising, he later defended the insulting comment as a bad joke.

We can agree that it was bad, but no, it certainly was no joke. 

When I saw the video, I wondered what he could possibly have meant. Naturally, she wasn’t an animal killed by traffic. However, a quick Google revealed that it could also mean: “One that has failed or been defeated and is no longer worthy of consideration.” Charming.

Of course, the DA women jumped to his defence. The DA Women's Network (Dawn) claimed women were being “over sensitive.” Gauteng DA chair, Stefanie Ueckermann, said in an interview that men will never treat women as their equals if they are overly sensitive. She said: “If you are standing around any braai where the men are talking and women are constantly objecting to how men talk to us, then we will never get that foot in the door, because we want to be seen as equal so that we can compete with men.” 

So, let me get this right. We have to endure men’s sexist jokes and comments in order to get a foot in the door? What utter rubbish. 

First of all, we have a foot in the door. The constitution gave us that. Secondly, I don’t want to be seen as equal to men, I AM equal to any man.  Thirdly, language matters: as much as racist language and statements are unacceptable, so are sexist ones. If we continue to tolerate this type of language and - even worse - defend the men who use it, we are supporting the patriarchy and sexism that relegate women to secondary citizens. Fourthly, John Steenhuisen is not any man around a braai. He is the leader of the official opposition and thus has a far bigger responsibility to watch his language. 

Let there not be any doubt: it is both disgraceful and unacceptable for anyone – let alone a politician and party leader to speak or joke about a woman like this. 

Equal pay

The third story that caught my attention related to what the women of Banyana Banyana are paid. On Sunday night, Carte Blanche reported that our female national soccer players are on average paid a tenth of what their male counterparts earn. A TENTH.

I was flabbergasted. I’m not a follower of soccer, but even I know that Banyana Banyana have done really well, whereas Bafana Bafana have done… well, a lot less than their female counterparts. 

What on earth can justify this discrepancy in pay? They play the same amount of time, they have to practise as hard and they surely sacrifice as much as the men? Clearly this is pure sexism. 

After the women won the African Cup, President Ramaphosa vowed that they would get equal pay. Let’s hope these were not empty words and that SAFA will get their act together and immediately do what is right. 

So, another Women’s Month has past. I have to say that I often feel even worse about the status of women in this country at the end of August. This month often simply highlights for me how far women in South Africa still have to go to have a safe, dignified and just live. 

Still, I want to salute all the brave women who stand up and continue to say: “Enough is enough!” Malibongwe!!