How much will you sacrifice to save a life?

Is giving up the nightly gin and tonic, glasses of wine or cans of braai beer too much to ask in order to save lives?

Before I enter into my conversation with you today, a big thank you to everyone who sent condolence messages following my dad's death. As anyone who has experienced grief will tell you, these messages mean a lot. They make the dark hole of loss a little bit more bearable.

Shortly after I returned from my dad's memorial, I saw a photograph of a woman protesting at the gates of Parliament. She was holding a poster which declared her unhappiness - possible fury - against the lockdown regulations as well as the government and Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma.

This woman is of course not alone. The mere mention of the possible re-instatement of the ban on sales of alcohol in some provinces has evoked a furious reaction from thousands (if not millions) of people - claiming it would be an infringement of their personal rights.

Looking at the photograph of the woman in front of Parliament, I could feel my heart starting to race. Of course, I respect the right of every person to protest. However, the words on the poster really annoyed me.

At first I wondered if it was just because of my post-dad-memorial state of mind, but I have experienced similar intense reactions when listening and reading the (often racist) criticism of the government's lockdown regulations, lockdown in general and especially the personal attacks on certain government ministers.

I knew part of my annoyance was because I know some of these ministers personally. Although I don't like all of them, I also know they do not deserve the horrible personal attacks by those in armchairs who do not have to make any of the life-and-death decisions they have to make on a daily basis.

Yet, these personal connections don't fully explain my feelings.

It seems to me the real divide between people's different and ongoing reactions to the Covid-19 measures lies in their answer to a deeper, more fundamental question: "How much are you willing to give up to save a life?"

For most of us, that is a fairly simple question when it relates to our children. 

I certainly know that I would give everything, including my own life to save my children, but as the circle widens it becomes more challenging.

I think most people would be willing to make significant sacrifices to save the life of someone they know, even if they are not family.

There are even remarkable human beings who - at great personal cost - give life to others whom they don't know - like for example anonymously donating a kidney. Thankfully, the majority of us are rarely faced with such a big decision. 

The extent to which anyone is willing to make sacrifices to save lives becomes far more difficult when it shifts beyond the personal to the bigger collective.

The majority of human beings would give money and possibly some time for causes that could save the lives of people they don't know - even when they are far away.

Charities bargain on this empathy to raise funds. However, having raised funds for UNICEF for many years, I also know as soon as it takes too much effort for people or if it means they have to sacrifice personal comfort, empathy (and money) disappear fast.

Which brings me back to the question: "How much are you willing to give up if it means saving a life - or perhaps thousands of lives?"

During lockdown, we were asked to do little in order to save lives. We had to stay at home, prepare our own food and of course we could not buy alcohol and cigarettes.

Despite that, many moaned and groaned about the relatively small sacrifices they had to make. Eventually, the government lifted most of the restrictions - many with positive effect - alcohol being the exception.

Now a new outrage - bordering on histrionics - has started at the mere suggestion of a renewed ban on alcohol sales in some provinces.

I'm not sure to what extent the alcohol ban can prevent or slow down the Covid-19 infection rate.  However, despite people's constant insistence that banning alcohol doesn't work, there is no dispute when we had a ban on alcohol sales a lot of good things happened and a lot of bad things didn't.

For example: we know hospital trauma units saw a major reduction (between 50 and 70%) of alcohol-related admissions.  As soon as the alcohol ban was lifted, up to 5 000 trauma beds were almost immediately filled again, because of alcohol-related injuries. These beds are now no longer available for Covid-19 patients - and one of them might end up being you or someone you love.

I'm sure (addicts aside) all people would be willing to give up alcohol for a couple of months to save the lives of their children, partner, parents or extended family members.

So why are we not willing or able to have an adult conversation on this issue for the sake of the bigger collective?

Are we truly a nation of alcoholics or is a serious discussion around giving up the nightly gin and tonic, glasses of wine or cans of braai beer just too much to ask to save a (few thousand) lives? 

Surely, we must be able to deal with this tricky question against the backdrop of a much bigger conversation about how to create a world where all human life is valued equally - a discussion that has become increasingly urgent with the Covid-19 pandemic.

I'm not fixated on alcohol per se, but it is often said "big doors swing on little hinges": if we can get so worked up about sacrificing our daily "dop", how ready can we be for the much more significant sacrifices required if our beloved South Africa is to be a land in which all feel an equal belonging?