Why I’m really scared at the moment

I am really scared at the moment - and I don’t scare easily. 

Since the Covid-19 pandemic started I have only been really scared once before. As I have mentioned previously, my family contracted the virus in March.

Even when the results started to come back positive, I was more concerned than scared.  We were coping and the symptoms were relatively mild.  

Ten days after my daughter was diagnosed things changed. Even though her (very high) fever had broken a few days earlier, her chest was still extremely tight.

She could not hold her breathe for two seconds.

Lying down was uncomfortable as she struggled to breath and I could see the panic in her eyes. The specialist told us to bring her into hospital the next morning and warned that she might need to be admitted.  

That was the longest night of my life. My daughter’s panicked eyes haunted me as I desperately tried to suppress the images of people dying alone in ICU.

The next day she had to be dropped outside of Mediclinic.

Of course they don’t allow you to go into hospital - so my child was left in the hands of strangers in hazard suits, while I could only pray that I would see her again.    

I do not wish that experience on anyone.   

Yesterday was the second time I got really scared.

I had a medical appointment in the Cape Town CBD. The city was buzzing with many people on the streets. What really shocked me was how many people were not wearing their masks properly.

Everyone HAD masks, but instead of being worn correctly, many were either draped around their necks, pushed Cyril-style on their foreheads or even swung around their fingers.

Even the beggar I gave money to, had one draped around his neck until I insisted he put it over his mouth and nose.  

Later in the afternoon, I took my sick cat to the vet.

As I pulled out of my garage a group of cyclists came past. They were clearly on a joy ride - had no shirts on and again no masks. On my short journey to the surgery, I spotted numerous walkers with their dogs, sans masks.

On my journey back, numerous domestic workers left houses on their way to catch taxis, again mask-less.  

It seems to me that people are starting to lose their fear of this virus.